"Mormon in America"

(*The statements made in this post are my own beliefs and opinions as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.)

This past week there was and interesting program on TV about the Mormon faith; Rock Center with Brian Williams on NBC.

Here is the program in it's entirety if you are interested in watching it.

Overall, I think this story was well done. They did a great job showing the efforts the church puts into helping the poor and the needy. I think they also successfully showed that we Mormons really are just normal people who are quite happy living our faith. I do think there are points where they over-emphasized parts of the religion that really don't matter all that much in the grand scheme of things, or that may seem controversial to the outside world. I also didn't love their interview with Ms. Huntsman, but I'm sure they tweaked a few things. And she is obviously entitled to feel however she wants to about the church. People within the church are still individuals,their understanding of church doctrine and policies can vary and they may feel differently about any number of topics. That is normal and as true in our religion as it is anywhere else in the world.

The only part of the story that I felt really needed to be corrected, at least from my point of view, had to do with the use of one simple word that really makes a HUGE difference when it comes to understanding the beliefs and practices of the LDS church.

The word is EQUALITY.

At one point toward the end of the story Brian Williams states, "...kids grow up in a church where the two genders, male and female, are not equal. That is one tradition among many that has survived despite all of the changes going on in the world outside the church."

I'm sorry to tell you this Mr. Williams, but that statement is WRONG. It may be an accurate way of depicting what some people may think about certain things, but it certainly is not the truth.

Being equal and being the same are two very different things. The church absolutely believes that men and women are equal. We are of the same worth and value to our Heavenly Father and to the world. But, the church also recognizes that men and women are not the same. They never have been...they never will be...and they are not intended to be. Ask any modern-day scientist and they will assure you that men and women are simply 'wired' differently.

As members of the church we understand that men and women are inherently different. They have different strengths and weaknesses.These differences allow us to compliment one another. They allow us to give and take here and there working together and making up for each other where we fall short. This is what makes a thriving family unit possible. We don't need to be the same, and we recognize that, as with all of God's intents, this is for a wise purpose.

I, personally, have no problem with the fact that my husband holds the Priesthood and I do not. And just so you know, those feelings are not at all based upon the fact that I can bear children and my husband cannot. I don't think that makes us 'even'. But the fact is, this is not a competition, as many seem to think it is. The whole issue has been turned into something as silly as "He got more ice cream than I did!" or "He got the bigger half of the cookie!" It seems to me that this fight over who should have 'rights' to holding the Priesthood shows nothing more than a desire for power.

The Priesthood is partly defined in the church as being "the power of God upon the Earth". Anyone, man or woman, who thinks they should have the 'right' to hold the power of God is horribly mislead and arrogant. God chooses whom He will allow to use that power on His behalf. He knows all things and leads and guides us. For us to think that we would know better than He does, that we would know better what is fair and acceptable in regards to this issue is ridiculous!

But even more to the point, is the idea that women somehow miss out on blessings because we do not hold the Priesthood. It is simply not true. Men do not use the Priesthood as a way to bless themselves. The Priesthood is used to bless others. It is a tool for them in their stewardship over their families. It is we, the women and children in a home, who are most blessed by our husbands or sons or brothers holding the Priesthood. One of the main reasons men are given this charge is to help and bless those around them. When we understand that, we can recognized that men having the Priesthood is quite literally a way that God blesses women. It's not about having a 'right', it's not about a selfish desire for power, it's not about bragging rights or being 'higher up the chain of righteousness' or having a 'better' position in the church. The Priesthood was given to bless us and to ease some of life's burdens. To make temporal things eternal. To allow love and relationships to last forever. To bring peace. It is a magnificent gift from God, and He absolutely has the right to decide whom He will allow to use it.

Men and women in the church are absolutely equal. We are both of great worth and have much that we are able to accomplish in this life. But we are not the same. And the fact that we, as members, understand that and are okay with it, does not mean that we are settling for less than we deserve. On the contrary, it allows us to understand our strengths and use them to better our own lives and the lives of our families. And I believe that having that understanding, in general, makes us more successful in this life.

Choice and Consequence

I'm gonna go out on limb here and talk about something that is getting a lot of attention in the state of Utah right now.

But before I do that, let me share a little bit with you about what I believe.

I believe that one of the absolute most important lessons we will ever learn in this life, is the correlation between choices and consequences. The greatest gift God has given us is the gift of choice. It is balanced out by consequences. The two always go together...Choice and Consequence. It is something that is repeatedly discussed in my home. It is one of my greatest focuses when it comes to teaching my children. When we make a choice, the following consequences help us to learn. They teach us things about the world, about God, and about ourselves - who we are and who we have the potential to become. They also act as a motivation to make the right choice. The more right choices we make, the happier and better off we will be.

Consequences are an important part of our lives. They serve a purpose. I find that it is becoming a growing trend for people (parents, society, government, etc.) to try to remove consequences from our children in order to "protect" them or to keep them "safe". I think this is incredibly dangerous and stupid.

Let me share an example here. Lets say I tell my daughter that she should not play with matches. I explain to her the dangers involved, how badly it would hurt if she were to burn herself, and that even worse things than hurting herself could happen as a result - like burning the house down. If she chose to play with matches she could affect not only her life, but the lives of others as well.

Her reaction would likely be, "I will NEVER play with matches."

Now lets say I follow up with that conversation by saying...."but, there is a likelihood that you may find some matches someday and you will want to know what it's like to start a fire. Even though I've already told you that you shouldn't play with matches, let me tell you a few things you can do to play with matches more 'safely'." Then I tell her things that may make it less likely for a complete disaster to be the result of her playing with matches, like "Only play with matches in an open space, where you are less likely to catch surrounding objects on fire."

What would her reaction likely be then? Probably something like, "I can see that playing with matches can be dangerous, but I also now know of ways to try to prevent those things from happening. So it's probably not such a big deal if I light a match or two just for fun, as long as I'm being 'safe' about it."

What's just happened here? She is no longer afraid of playing with matches or the possible consequences that could follow because she has been taught to do it 'safely'. The likelihood that she wouldn't worry too much about playing with matches just increased ten-fold. And it did so because the consequences of doing it were just taken away.

So, if I teach my daughter not to play with matches, I don't want anyone else to swoop in and teach her about how she can do it 'safely' if she ever wants to. It diminishes the dangers involved, undermines my teaching as a parent, and makes her more likely to find herself in bad situation.

Get my point?

Okay, so now I will tie this in with what is being talked about in Utah right now. Utah legislation just passed a bill called HB363. This bill states that when it comes to sex education in our schools, our children will be taught from an abstinence-only standpoint. A petition is going around urging the Governor to veto the bill immediately.

As you can imagine, people have many different views on this topic. But the one that I keep hearing over and over again goes something like this, " Let sex education stay and give our students the information they need. Many teens are going to have sex anyway and telling them, 'just don't do it' isn't going to stop them. Give them the knowledge they need to stay safe and avoid STD's and pregnancy." ( I actually got that quote from an online discussion board today.)


I'm sure you can probably see where I'm going with this. In our home we teach our children, or will when they are old enough, that abstinence before marriage is the only option. Obviously they will choose one day whether or not they agree with that, but we will never teach them anything differently. We will teach them the purposes of sex that we believe are dictated by God, not by man. We will teach them of the dangers and consequences that could follow if they abuse that God-given gift, including unplanned pregnancy and STDs. BUT we will not teach them how to avoid those consequences. They will be much more likely not to be concerned about them if they know a way around them. They will be much more likely to make the wrong choice if they can do it without worrying about what may result from that choice.



I want my children to fear those consequences! I want my children to fear God and follow His guidelines! Those are the things that will keep them safe!


So, just as with the matches, if I teach my child that she should not have sex outside of marriage - I demand that no one else (including well-intentioned and educated adults in the school system) swoops in and 'saves' her by teaching her how to have sex without consequences. If she makes the choice to have sex, she will deal with the consequences of that choice, however harsh they may be, because that is how God intends it to be. That is how we learn, grow, and change. It is how we become stronger people. It is how we gain integrity.


Do not steal my daughters innocence! Do not steal her integrity! Do not try to 'save' her by making dangerous things seem more doable and appealing! That is counter-productive. And DO NOT undermine my ability as a parent to decide what is best for my child!


I fully support HB363. I hope it is not vetoed. Saving our children starts in the home, not in our schools.

I See a Blockage In My Future....

You may or may not know that I have written a children's book. I sent it into a publisher some time ago, but have not heard back from them yet. These things take time, and I am in no hurry. I definitely don't expect to be some big-time author or anything. I just think it would be nice to have a book on our shelf that my children can read, knowing that it was written specifically for them by their mother. I want it to have bright, exciting pictures and make them laugh and bounce and have fun!

Anyway, I suffer from writer's block quite often. That book took me 2 years to complete. Before I finished it I started on an idea for a second book. I've been throwing around ideas for the second book for about a year, but have only managed to write down a few actual sentences. The other night I felt a sudden urge to really put some genuine effort into finishing that book. So, now comes the hard part....

Making my brain think about what I want it to think about, rather than the random nonsense that fills it on a regular basis.

Sometimes my imagination just stalls. I wish I could remember the types of things I used to think about as a child. Thankfully, I have my own children to observe and learn from.

Even though writer's block will likely be a struggle...I enjoy writing. That's why I do it. Eventually I'll finish the book, and published or not, I will be happy with it - and hopefully my kids will too!

On to the challenge!!!