Today I experienced one of the most ridiculous and embarrassing mishaps in my life. It is absolute proof that I am senile! I wasn't planning on telling anyone about it, but then I figured, I can either laugh it off with everyone else (oh yes, you will be laughing), or I can crawl in a hole and hang out for awhile. But frankly, laughter is more fun! And when you're insane, (like me) meniacle laughter is even more fun! Bwahahahahahahaha!
There are a few things that contributed to today's mishap. I shall list them for you:
1) Last week was Spring Break and so I had a whole week that I didn't have to keep to the normal schedule, which goes as follows:
*We have one car. Jarom goes to work in the very early morning. He comes home later in the morning and we pack up all of the kids in the car to take Emma to school. Then I take Jarom back to work so that I have the car to get Bridget to school in the afternoon. Then I have to go pick Jarom up when he gets off work.
2) I had some extra kids at my house yesterday, so my mom came and took Bridget to school for me. Since I didn't have to get Bridget to school, Jarom kept the car and I didn't have to pick him up from work.
(These two things put my regular schedule more-or-less out of sight and out of mind.)
3) This is me we're talking about here, and if you know me and my brain then you know that is contribution enough.
Okay, so...now that you have all of the background information I will fill you in on
The Mishap...(Dun dun dun...)
I didn't take Bridget to school today because I got caught up in something I was doing and by the time I looked at the clock it was too little too late. (Duh! moment #1)
I was upstairs in the bathroom (yes, I was in the bathroom) and I heard banging on my front door. Someone was knocking very hard and very fast, repetitively. Immediately following the banging I could hear the bomp bomp bomp of a car stereo, turned up way too loud. Then it was quiet.
I came out of the bathroom and looked out my window and noticed that my car was in the driveway. It was around the time that Jarom would get home from work, so I went downstairs to see if he was home. I looked through the whole house and he wasn't here. In fact, the front door was still locked. I was so confused. Where would he have gone? It didn't make any sense to me! I went outside and started looking up and down the street. I checked with a few neighbors to see if they had seen him (Oh yes, I knocked on the doors and everything).
And then I started to FREAK OUT!!!
Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen! I became thoroughly convinced that my husband had been followed home from work by some no-good, road rage gangster (yep!). That it had been my husband pounding on the door, trying to get in quicker than his keys would allow, when he was dragged off by these armed and dangerous misfits!
(I know, I know. You're probably nearly wetting yourselves already.)
40 minutes later I got all of my kids into the car and began driving the neighborhood looking for any evidence of these possible thugs and where they might have taken my husband. I had my phone in-hand and was minutes away from calling the police and reporting him missing. Then the phone rang, and to my surprise and relief I heard my husband's voice. I was soooo confused!
And what did he say to me? He said, "Hi! Did you forget about me?" And with those few words it dawned on me, and suddenly everything made sense! Perfect, obvious, idiotic sense!
Jarom hadn't taken the car today. I dropped him off at work after we took Emma to school, just like we do every other day. Jarom was calling me because I had forgotten to pick him up from work.
Seriously people, if you're not worried about my mental stability at this point you probably should be. I know I am! So there's your proof. All kinds of crazy exists, and it exists right here.
I realize that it is pretty funny looking back on it, but at the time it was far from funny. I think it must stem from my greatest fear in this life, which is obviously an irrational sort of fear. The fear of becoming a widow. There is nothing scarier to me. I can't imagine a life without my husband. He is my whole world.
So, feel free to have a laugh at my expense! I will join you! And then you can recognize that one of your many blessings is that your brain isn't just a big ball of Jell-o like mine is!
4 comments:
okay I did kind of snicker a little, but mostly because I could see myself doing that :) I think kids make us go insane....what I want to know is who was knocking on your door fast and repetively? Hmm.....
Lisa, after the day I have had I needed a good laugh, and guess who came to my rescue. I was sitting here reading it to myself and was literally laughing out loud. My family asked me what I was laughing about, so I read it out loud and they all enjoyed a laugh too. Thanks for being the bright spot in my otherwise dismal day.
OK--but here's what I was wondering---when you found your hubby with the gangster dudes who hauled the man away what was your plan?
It's fun to read about people having similar scatterbrained moments as myself!!
OK--but here's what I was wondering---when you found your hubby with the gangster dudes who hauled the man away what was your plan?
It's fun to read about people having similar scatterbrained moments as myself!!
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